Today marks 30 years since the start of Mike and I as a couple. Symbolized by the pearl, it seems fitting.
It often starts with an irritant—a life event, a challenge, or just the inevitable rough edges of two people sharing their lives. In our case, not long after we made our commitment to each other, Hurricane Opal swept away our home. Just like that, we found ourselves starting over in a 600-square-foot cottage in Pensacola. And, like an oyster wraps that grain of sand in layers of nacre, we covered the tough moments with love, patience, and understanding—appreciating what we did have: each other. Every disagreement, every hardship became part of the process that made us stronger. It’s love that has carried us through, reminding us to keep going even when it wasn’t easy.
Just like a pearl doesn’t happen overnight, a deep, lasting connection takes time—maybe decades. In our case, 3 decades. In 30 years, love, loyalty, compassion, and patience become second nature. In fact, you don’t mind the snoring, the over-filled junk drawers, and the impossible 4-foot closet you share with another gay man. You don’t just love each other despite the rough patches—you love each other because of how you’ve weathered them together. That’s the pearl, really—the relationship shaped by all those shared experiences, both the hard ones and the good ones. Like the joy we felt when we first held our newly born grandchild—it’s love that makes those moments shine even brighter.
As we celebrate this milestone, my heart also goes out to everyone facing hardships right now, especially those enduring the impact of Hurricane Milton. Having gone through our own storms—literally and figuratively—I know that love, resilience, and hope will carry you through. Every challenge, no matter how overwhelming, has the potential to transform into something stronger and more beautiful on the other side.
Here’s to you, Mike—my heart—after 30 years, I’d do it all over again, hurricane and all. Through every rough patch, every laugh, and every moment of love, I choose being by your side, every time. To those in the midst of their own storms, hold on tight to love and the strength you didn’t know you had. Brighter days are ahead.
Today, I’ll be celebrating you, Mike, and all the love we’ve built—every single moment of it.